I have been wanting to write this post for a couple weeks now, but have not had the time to sit down and do it justice. A lot of mornings I get up with K and see him off to work, then have an hour to do what I want before I get ready for work, so today I am using that hour here, while sipping my morning coffee!
First I want to start with a couple of definitions:
- The practice of being married to one person at a time
- The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner
- The habit of having only one mate at a time
- The practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same time
- The practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
It still sometimes seems surreal to me that I, a monogamous person by nature, am here living this poly life with two other people! I never pictured living full-time with a husband turned trans slave wife, and a loving boyfriend too! I never pictured really having a full blown sexual realtionship with more than one partner, yet for the last few years that is what has happened! I always thought I would be a one mate at a time kinda gal! Preferably one mate for life king gal!
So, while that is not the case, I also don’t feel the other two definitions fully apply either, yet by all intents and purposes the three of us are indeed living a poly life! We labeled ourselves the Poly Kinksters for this blog, kinda catchy isn’t it? We are technically poly and we are kinky as fuck, so it seemed to be the perfect name for us! But what does it mean to us to be poly?
We recently watched the 2 seasons of a documentary called Polyamory on Showtime. Unfortunately the show stopped airing after two years. In that show there were two married couples living together in a pod, having sexual relationships amongs all of themselves as well as each of the pod having more sexual relationships with 1 or more other people! WOW! Then there were two different threesomes shown, both comprised of a man and two women. One of the threesomes had a little ceremony to all marry each other. During the show they talked a lot of about jealousy, hurt feelings, boundaries etc, but with that many hands in the cookie jar I don’t know how you can avoid causing some of those issues.
Watching that show got me thinking, is that what people think we are about? At one point the pod had a huge sex party where all their lovers current and former were invited and it basically turned into a giant orgy! And yes since it was on Showtime they showed a good bit of that orgy! While it was fun and interesting to watch, I really do not want to be lumped into that category or our readers to think that is what we are about!
I am way too monogamous for that, and if my slave husband who I force femmed did not end up deciding she really was meant to be a woman all her life, and wanted to live that way as much as possible, then we wouldn’t be living in this dynamic, and K (as well as our close friend we were involved with before K) would not be in our life! We would still be living in monogamy and enjoying kinky, sometimes mildly sexual, play with friends like we did before! So yes, I am saying that what led us (Wifey and I) down this path was the fact that I still needed to have a man in my life, as a sex partner but also as a loving partner, and doing so helped Wifey be able to pursue her true desires without guilt.
The funny thing is though, that even though we are the Poly Kinksters, and Wifey and I are technically poly, K is only poly from the aspect of loving a partner who technically is poly! K is very much a monogamous person, and he was willing to put that out there very early on, that the three of us be monogamous together. K has no desire to have other partners, sexual or love any other women. He is fully committed to me, and has developed a very close family/friendship type relationship with Wifey in which he engages in kinky play and co-domination with me. Without me here he has no desire to dominate Wifey, and although he did a little bit of it without me when I was on a trip by myself a few months back, he did not enjoy it the same without me here. Wifey is poly because she loves us both, serves us both, and will have a sexual relationship with both. Wifey is the most naturally poly of us all. She is a very devoted person, but capable of being poly, and I think some of that comes from her submission and level of trust in me not to ever abandon her or treat her like she is not important.
I have yet to find another story similar to ours where the woman has two men (or a femmed submissive partner and a man), but I feel like I am definitely lucky to be in such a unique dynamic! I have the love and devotion of two people, and even though K does not submit to me, he is totally devoted to me and to making sure I feel happy and loved and wanted. Wifey is devoted to me in the same regards, but also gives me full control over her.
The only other sex partners that may be invited in will likely be for Wifey, under my (and K’s) full control. When I say sex partners I mean partners that we do more than kinky play with, where it actually turns sexual. I have no desire to be sexual with anyone else, and I would never be okay with K being sexual with anyone else (other than when we make Wifey suck his cock), and lucky for me he has no desire for being with anyone else either! I am open to kinky friendship and play relationships, but that is it.
The three of us consider this relationship to be permanent. What that means is, we plan on living the rest of our life like this. K is very happy, and does not ever want to lose me or leave me. He never pictured himself living in this dynamic either, but it just happened! After years of searching for a person that felt right, he found me (and Wifey) and everything felt right! He grew up in a home where extended family lived with them, so maybe from that aspect having more people than tradition calls for, seems more normal. I am in love with Wifey and K. K is in love with me. Wifey is in love with me. K and Wifey have a different love for each other. We are all happy this way and if I could be married to them both legally, I would, but I can’t. K is okay with Wifey having that legal connection, because he knows that the connection I have with him is just as meaningful and both of them are aware and okay with the fact that they both are equally important and loved by me.
We have talked a little about having some type of ceremony at some point where K and I (and Wifey) would make some commitments to each other, about the future, since we can’t get engaged and married like a typical couple. Wifey has expressed her desire to officiate such ceremony. I am sure down the line there will be something we do, but in the mean time we are just living and enjoying this crazy busy life we have!
I hope this sheds better light for all of our readers about what poly means to us, and how we live it and feel it!
We would love to hear from others what your thoughts on poly is?